Article: is it possible to boost employment?

Article: is it possible to boost employment?

Seguimos trabajando writings de seguidores de la Web del Inglés. Esta vez se trata de un artículo: is it possible to boost employement?,  nivel C1, para Escuela Oficial de Idiomas. Dar las gracias a Laura, seguidora de la Web del Inglés, que ha puesto su confianza en nosotros para preparar su examen de expresión escrita. Vamos allá! 🙂

Since the financial crisis started in 2009 the unemployment has been increasing excessively. But, are there any solutions to face this actual current issue?

Generally speaking, unemployment occurs when people who are without any work are actively seeking paid work. Unfortunately, the employment rate is not going up. Nevertheless, there are some solutions to create more jobs and avoid prevent that workers from being made make redundant.

As a matter of fact, the primary measure would be to lower rates paid by self-employed workers, This which would imply that autonomous self-employed workers could make ends meet without working for peanuts. Furthermore, it would be more likely that they could hire employees and what is more, there would have more people that would make up their minds to set up a small business.

Another measure would be to equal wages, which This could avoid prevent the black market. For instance, if a person would want wanted to have their house painted, at no time did would she or he look for the cheapest painter since the budgets estimates of different entrepreneurs would be matched.

Additionally, implementing new posts related to the new technologies or the internet would broaden the labour market. It is a reality that both public and private sectors have to deal with this, which and it is causing big headaches due to the fact that the more high-tech gadgetry appears, the more complications there are. Consequently, these new devices require qualified staff to fix any problems that could be arisen.

Last but not least, all these keys would enhance the employment rates but in order to succeed it is completely necessary the support from the government, otherwise the number of jobless people would increasingly  continue rising increasingly.

NOTAS:

ASPECTOS A MEJORAR:

1. Unemployment = general, por tanto, omitimos artículo the.
2. Current vs actual. Current significa acutal mientras que actual es real en español.
3. Without + any + uncountable noun = without any work, without any effort // without + any + plural countable noun = without any problems / without + a + singular countable noun = without a penny.
4. Avoid vs prevent = prevent se utiliza cuando queremos decir “evitar que algo ocurra”, es decir, ponemos medidas para no dar lugar a que algo ocurra. En tu idea, lo que tú quieres evitar es que los trabajadores sean despedidos, antes de que pase, pones medidas para que esto no suceda. La regla es: prevent somebody from + verb en ing. Avoid, en cambio, es yo ya tengo el problema, y al encontrarme con él, lo esquivo, me voy por otro camino para no encontrarme con él.
5. Make somebody redundant = prevent that workers from being made make redundant = muchas veces make redundant va con la pasiva, cuando no dices quién despide a los trabajadores. Si yo digo: me despidieron = I was made redundant = no digo quién, ya se sabe que fue el jefe y no es necesario decir, por eso tengo que utilizar pasiva.
6. Self-employed workers = añadimos workers mejor, así self-employed es nuestro adjetivo. Esto es un nombre colectivo, otros ejemplos son jobless, blind, homeless, etc. Si no ponemos artículo, debes ponerles people detrás. Si les pones the delante, puedes omitir people. Yo puedo decir: blind people or the blind / self-employed people or the self-employed, etc.
7. Intenta utilizar oraciones de relative con , which…. = le dan mucha coherencia al texto. Esto lo utilizarías en lugar de poner un punto y empezar la oración con this.
8. What is more = lleva coma detrás.
9. if a person would want wanted to have their house painted, at no time did would she or he look for the … = esto es una segunda conditional, por tanto, if + past simple… would + infinitive. Cuidado con esto!!
10. Budget vs estímate = budget es presupuesto de un estado, lo que tienes para gastar, en una casa, en un colegio, hospital, pero estímate es el presupuesto que te saca un profesional para realizarte un servicio.
11. Any problems that could arise = cualquier problema que pueda surgir, no necesitas pasiva.
12. Jobless people, añadimos people.Se trata de un nombre colectivo, como decíamos antes.
13. As a matter of fact significa really, actually, in fact. Creo que tú buscas otro conector, no? Para añadir una idea nueva…

ASPECTOS POSITIVOS:

1. Buenos linkers: Generally speaking, Nevertheless, Furthermore, what is more, Additionally, due to the fact that, since, Consequently, Last but not least, in order to, otherwise.
2. Buen vocabulario, nivel avanzado, C1: boost, face, lower, make ends meet, work for peanuts, make up their minds, broaden, high-tech gadgetry, enhance.
3. Gramática de nivel avanzado: has been increasing excessively (present perfect continuous + adverb) are actively seeking (present continuous + adverb),  would be more likely that (be likely that), there would have (haber in conditional), have their house painted (hove sth done), at no time (negative adverb + inversion), etc.

En general el writing está bastante bien para nivel C1, pero hay que evitar errores básicos propios de niveles inferiores, como por ejemplo: la no omisión del artículo the cuando hablamos en general, la segunda condicional, el uso de la pasiva cuando no es necesario, la omisión de la pasiva cuando es necesaria, el no hacer uso de oraciones de relativo con which para cohesionar mejor el texto, etc.

Nuevamente agradecer a Laura su aportación. UN MILLÓN DE GRACIAS! 🙂

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